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It seems that every year we make a resolution list that is destined to fail at some point within the first three months of the new year. Most of the things on our list are designed around self-improvement which we believe will make us happier. But we need to ask ourselves “will making such changes really make us happy?” What if we make a list of things that we already know make us happy and resolve to do them more often? For example:

This year, I resolve to…
1. Be active outdoors – Since slow pace walking helps me relax, fast paced walking and/or running gives me more energy and hiking, swimming, and playing sports is fun especially when done with other people…I resolve to be more active outdoors.
2. Show affection – Hugs, kisses, cuddles, holding hands and verbal comments are the simplest way of expressing my love tåoward others and to receive love from others… so I resolve to give and receive more affection.
3. Laugh – As the old adage states “laughter is the best medicine”…so I resolve to laugh as much as I can, with whomever I can, even if it brings out tears.
4. Play – Pick up dominoes, cards or board games and play with friends, family members or children. It’s such a simple way of distressing…so I resolve to play more often.
5. Learn – Whether by attending classes or reading about topics that interests me, learning is a great way of feeding your mind, improving concentration and memory…so I resolve to learn more this year.
6. Dream – Because dreaming is the first step to creating achievable goals…therefore I resolve to dream big dreams this year.
7. Cry – Crying is such a great cleansing mechanism that allows us to release negative emotions that block the more positive ones….therefore I resolve to cry more often.
8. Explore – Whether is a road trip to another town, museum or a local coffee shop; I resolve to satisfy my curiosity and craving for adventure by exploring new areas or things that I never tried before.
9. Dance – I resolve to turning on the music; closing my eyes and following the rhythm. I will dance as if no one is watching.
10. Sing – If a song makes me feel emotion, whether sad or happy, I resolve to sing like no one can hear me.
11. Spend time with children – Children see simple things as extraordinary and exciting…so I resolve to connect with children more often.
12. Help others – Volunteering helps me realize how fortunate I am to have family and friends, food and shelter…Therefore I resolve to help others more often.
13. Be present – Whenever a regret, worry or fear makes me think about the future or the past, I resolve to stop and look at what’s in front of me…what is present and I will concentrate on taking the time to enjoy it.
14. Surround myself with others – Being around others makes me feel safe, at peace and happier than I would be if alone…so I resolve to surround myself with positive people more often.

– “Don’t forget…”
– “Forget what?” I remarked,
– “To breathe.” My brother in law chuckled and walked away. He taught me a valuable lesson through his jokes in relaxation.

Breathing seems intuitive and basic. In fact, it is one of the most simple and effective forms of relaxation that we often forget to do. But is breathing of good quality? Do you breathe well enough to support your body and mind and promote less stress? Imagine, breathing is a voluntary function and it’s your responsibility to remember to do it, finding time to do it and do it well. How would you rate your breathing then and most of all, how would your body and mind feel as a result?

One day, I felt exceptionally stressed out and overwhelmed. At one point, I sat down in front of my computer to answer an email, I yawned and almost immediately, my brother in law’s voice sounded off in my head, “Don’t forget…” I stopped and thought about breathing as an essential aide to relaxation. Then, took a few deep breaths and almost immediately felt more relaxed. Ever since, whenever I feel like I’m rushing, I hear his voice in my head and follow the cue to concentrate on breathing.

I’m guilty of not finding time to do any breathing exercises so I opt for quick, convenient and easy ways to do it while keeping long lasting effects in mind. I tweaked The Measured Breath technique (instructions below) and instead of breathing and counting to four, I breathe while counting to three or just concentrate on expanding my stomach while I inhale air. I do it as much as I can, with a goal to create a long lasting habit. This way, I don’t feel pressured to take some time out of my busy schedule to do breathing exercises.

I find when I remind myself to slow my breath down and my speech pattern slows down as well. I feel more relaxed and mindful of my surroundings. Other benefits of deep breathing include a reduction in stress and blood pressure, strengthening of abdominal and intestinal muscles for better nutrition absorption, increases energy and relieves body aches and pains. Breathing promotes better blood flow, releases toxins from the body and improves the quality of sleep.

I encourage my clients to do the same. I notice that my clients talk fast which often results in their inability to concentrate on their feelings and thoughts. I often use my brother in law’s joke, which for my clients just like me, is the cue to slow down and relax.

Tucker, M.D. (2014, February 1. Benefits of Deep Breathing. Retrieved from http://www.liverstrong.org

The Measured Breath Technique
Here’s how you do it:
▪ You can sit or stand, but be sure to soften up a little before you begin. Make sure your hands are relaxed, and your knees are soft.
▪ Drop your shoulders and let your jaw relax.
▪ Now breathe in slowly through your nose and count to four, keep your shoulders down and allow your stomach to expand as you breathe in.
▪ Hold the breath for a moment.
▪ Now release your breath slowly and smoothly as you count to seven.
▪ Repeat for a couple of minutes.